


the way i'll try to love you

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Cynical!Rob, Fluff, Love Through The Ages, M/M, Robron Secret Valentine 2018, Valentine's Day, it starts all cynical and then gets soft and sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 14:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13683906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: robert sugden is not a valentines day person, at all. until ... someone changes everything.





	the way i'll try to love you

**Author's Note:**

> written as part of the robron secret valestine challenge on tumblr!

 

**Mum:**

 

He's ten when he gets the whole idea of the day itself.

And he adores it, honestly.

The idea of telling people you love them and picking out flowers from the fields, is something which makes him happy.

Because he's only ten and well, the world still makes some sort of sense.

So, they make cards at school. And all the girls pile glitter on to the front of them, the strong smell of the glue is enough to make Robert wince.

But he battles through it, and he makes one.

"Here you go." He's innocent with his words, so very soft about it all and she accepts it.

"Oh, thank you son." She's been crying, and his dad isn't anywhere to be seen.

He'd half expected roses and candles like Maddy from school said it would be like when he got home.

But it isn't.

His mum's just alone on their kitchen table.

She hugs him tight and he hugs her back, only something has almost altered in his chest and yeah, he isn't a fan of the day that much anymore.

 

::

 

**Donna:**

 

Donna's his next Valentines of sorts.

Only he's shit about it, doesn't even get her a card.

"You're great you." She says, leaning against the chair and frowning.

"Sorry." He says, leather jacket, baggy jeans, muddy boots. He doesn't really care, but she seems to.

She twirls her hair, pushes herself up and shrugs. "Didn't expect much anyway."

Because he's Robert.

He doesn't know whether to smile or not but then she's pouncing on him and yep, his hands can make up for his stupid brain he supposes.

They always seem to, and she's this fireball of electricity and _fuck_ Valentine's Day.

 

::

 

**Katie:**

 

Katie is infuriating.

Because she's nice, she's funny, she makes him smile sometimes and -

She's in love with Andy.

He sees it all the time and he wants to rip his hair out, and then Andy's because it isn't fair.

He wants her for himself, because she's got something about her, because she isn't his to have.

So,

He pursues her as best he can, and she doesn't resist even half as much as he thought she would.

He steals a kiss.

He steals a lot more.

"He can't know about this." Katie's got soft skin, Robert strokes her arms. "Robert." She stresses his name and he nods against her.

"Yeah." Robert croaks out, feels his heart spread out further than it ever has before. "It can be our secret. I promise." He doesn't really promise, sooner or later, he wants this to blow up in Andy's face.

He smiles against her, lays beside her and there's a hum around them.

A soft buzz.

 

~*~

 

He hates Katie because she makes him care about stupid shit for the first time.

So he's here, sitting at the edge of the farm waiting for her to arrive.

It's Valentine's Day. Well, it's nearly _not_ anymore because she's taking so long.

"Come on then." Robert kicks a stone, pulls his leather jacket across his chest further and stares up at the sky. The sun is setting, orange hues are pulled over the scene and he tries to settle the feeling in his stomach.

He waits.

And then waits a little more before deciding to just head home and see if anyone has heard from her.

But then he's opening the door and hearing a _squeal_ , and Vic is jumping around and Katie's standing there.

Andy's got a hand on her back, he's smiling and he looks like a little kid.

"What's all this?" Robert says, almost can't breathe.

"I asked Katie to marry me." Andy beams, Jack's standing by the sink smiling too.

Robert's eyes widen, and he looks at Katie. "And?"

No, please, no don't -

"She said yeah." Andy's saying, and then she squeezes at Katie's shoulder and Robert watches her shake a little before Vic's dragging her hand towards Katie's and Robert can _see_ her ring.

He turns pale, and she dares to smile at him - only he looks away.

"Oh, well - congrats then." He waves a hand out, makes some excuse and turns back towards the barns.

He was going to tell her how he felt.

He was going to tell her that he loved her.

Robert kicks out and tries not to cry as he feels the corners of the card in his pocket ache against his ribcage.

It's Valentine Day, and he's just felt heart ache for the very first time.

 

::

 

**Simon:**

 

Jack kicks him out, because he tells everyone about him and Katie.

And he wants Katie to chose him, only she doesn't and he's a fool for thinking that he'd win if he gave her an ultimatum.

It's almost laughable really.

So,

He's living in some bedsit, getting by as best he can and yeah it's not the best thing in the world.

But he doesn't complain, because it could be worse.

He's sitting near the window, when Simon comes in.

He lives down the hall. He's got wild crazy looking eyes and a brown mop for a head of hair.

He's all legs and bones and he smiles at Robert sometimes like he wants to kiss him.

It makes Robert freak out, a lot.

But he likes him, he makes Robert feel like he's safe.

"Hey." Simon says, smiles just a little and then crosses his arms over as he leans against the wall. "I fancy chips." He says and Robert just stares up at him.

He knows what Simon is doing. He's trying to help.

Because Robert is almost a reclusive nowadays.

"Let's go get chips."

And they do, knock knees against the wall and get ketchup down their hands.

"You know what day it is today?" Simon smirks a little, and Robert hasn't been keeping up to date. He just shakes his head and then Simon gulps. "Valentine's Day."

And Robert's face falls.

"Hate Valentine's Day." He says, almost growls it out and Simon laughs.

He laughs and he's just everything pure and light in the world and Robert stares at him for a few seconds before Simon looks down.

"You don't have to." Simon shrugs, still looking at Robert. "Depends who you're with, doesn't it?"

And yeah, maybe Simon did like him.

Maybe, _God_ maybe.

The thought makes Robert tingle, feel odd because he's never -

Not after his dad found him and -

Simon looks like he could love Robert sometimes.

Now is one of those times.

And he kisses Robert, makes the younger man hitch a breath as the boy's lips are on his.

He tastes like vinegar and salt and Pepsi and Robert doesn't know what to say.

So he _doesn't_.

Instead, Simon pulls away from him and laughs steadily and Robert blushes bright red.

"Si, I'm not _gay_."

Because he's not.

God, he's not being difficult but he just really isn't.

Because he looks at Lizzie from the off-licence and sometimes he thinks about her mouth on his and he gets a little too excited.

So he can't be.

Simon doesn't even seem fazed, he just smiles. "I am." He says and yeah well, Robert always sort of knew that. "Happy Valentine's Day."

And Robert shifts a little, kicks his legs out further and -

He still isn't a fan of Valentine's Day because it makes people feel _extra_ things and that's ridiculous and stupid and -

Yeah, he won't be apart of that.

Not even for Simon.

 

::

 

**Connor:**

  
Connor's like him.

Well, at least that's what Robert thinks.

He's quick and smart and has this smug smile on his face all the time, like he's the cat that's got the cream or something.

He's also madly in love with Robert, but that's sort of besides the point.

Or at least it should be.

But Connor likes to bring it up a lot.

Like now, tangled in sheets and Robert's arm around his shoulder lazily, barely grazing his pale skin.

"Didn't think I'd be spending the day of _love_ with you." Connor says, all smug and to the point and it makes Robert a little guilty - to think that Connor honestly thinks this means anything.

Because, honestly it doesn't.

Robert thinks back to how Simon used to make him feel. Tingles in his toes. He used to think that.

Simon used to _matter_.

And then it was all,

_"I love you, come with me."_

And Robert was a coward who didn't know how to love back.

So he didn't.

Connor should get that. Robert wants him to get that so badly because they're adults.

And Robert is tougher, less of a stupid kid now.

So he sleeps with who he likes. And Connor, he's a good fuck. But when he wakes up to see him laying next to him, he's not even on his mind.

"It's overrated." Robert says, suddenly sits up on the bed and reaches out for a cigarette. It catches the light and his shoulders relax as he breathes out slowly.

Connor snorts. "What? Valentine's Day? I suppose you're -"

"Love." Robert says, turns towards him and sighs. "The sooner you realise that, the sooner you can grow up."

Connor just stares at him like he doesn't know what to say and Robert feels like shit suddenly.

So he kisses Connor hard on the mouth and he feels this surge of excitement race through the younger hapless man.

"I knew I didn't have to get you flowers or anything." Connor jokes, and Robert lets him.

Because Valentine's Day is pretty much just that.

 

::

 

**Chrissie:**

 

He's twenty seven by the time the day actually puts pressure on his brain.

And it's because of none other than Chrissie White.

She's pristine, beautiful, _successful_.

And he's also been playing cat and mouse with her for about three months now.

"You impress her on Valentine's Day, be her secret admirer or something." Jen from the office downstairs is full of encouragement and he tells himself it's not her pity.

Because, well he doesn't turn _heads_ or anything but he does have something about him and the suits work wonders.

And _also_ , if he's being honest, his looks got him the interview in the first place.

Because Lawrence bought him blagging his business nohow by looking everywhere else apart from his mouth.

Robert's not even ashamed of that fact.

It explains why he's here right now, a dozen roses in hand and a smirk on his face and none other than Chrissie White walking towards him.

She smiles, because she knows they're for her.

"They're beautiful." She says.

"Well so are you." He's all charm.

Her eyes flutter and Robert knows that she's divorced, hates men in general and wants to be treated right. He exploits that a little, likes the chase of this all, likes the idea of rising through the ranks even further.

He likes all the possibilities.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ms White." He nods his head a little and he's sure she's blushing.

He's got her falling for him hook, line and sinker and -

He could feel the same, if he wanted to.

 

~*~

 

He's almost a romantic because of Chrissie.

So he has sweaty palms and a nervous smile and is,

Oh yeah down on one knee nine months later.

Because having her on his arm makes him feel important, loved, _worthy_ and he wants that to last.

He really does.

So she agrees, of course she agrees.

And Robert plays along with it all. Her plans, her excitement.

That's why he's standing here, holding a glass of champagne and trying to pretend like he doesn't hate all of this.

They're having an engagement party and he's hardly seen his own fiancé since it started.

It makes his eyes wander, he doesn't mind admitting that. Only they always seem to wander towards -

"Even I didn't think my sister could get anymore self absorbed."

Rebecca White.

And,

 _Shit_.

Robert looks at her and she's sparky and younger and flighty. She oozes freedom and sparkle and is the exact opposite of her clear cut sister.

She's also been in Robert's bed more times than she should have and that's an issue.

Robert smiles faintly, admires her simplistic gold dress and the fluffy shawl thrown over her. "She's entitled to an engagement party." He shrugs, indifferent.

Rebecca's eyes widen. "Yeah. Maybe not on Valentine's Day."

And Robert's eyes roll. "Please. It's hardly a public holiday, it's just another day."

Apparently that's the wrong thing to say. "You sound like you're not madly in love. Aren't all madly in love couples supposed to lose their minds with _love_ today?"

And he wants to tell her to grow up. But he thinks even Chrissie would agree with her, in her romantic, frenzied mind.

And it's not even that _much_ to assume. They've been engaged since Christmas and she's wanted to do something for ages and they're getting _married_.

He should be feeling exactly the same way.

Only he isn't.

Only, yeah, he loves her but in a way that only he understands.

Fuck conventions.

He goes to answer her, but she's gone. And he thinks she honestly believes that her words have had any sort of lasting effect.

He shakes his head and Chrissie waves at him, all happy and proud and he waves back.

He sips his champagne, smirks and _yeah_ , even Valentine's Day can be used to his advantage if he really wants to.

 

::

 

**Soft Curls:**

 

It's slowly slipping into the late evening and Robert isn't even thinking about moving from where he is.

He's demanding another pint and also that the stupid love hearts be torn down from the bar because they're fucking ridiculous.

"Sorry sweetheart, I just serve the pints." She doesn't even look old enough to have a sweetheart and Robert is sure she's chewing gum as well but he doesn't care.

He waves a hand out and she passes him over his pint before disappearing. Robert sips at the foam for a second before leaning across and ripping apart one of the papers hearts hung around the place.

He _hates_ Valentine's Day.

Especially now, because yeah, he's alone.

And _yes_ he knows that he deserves it, it's no ones fault but his own - but it still hurts.

Because Chrissie just left him, before they'd even walked up the isle.

She'd suspected and dug and _found_ what she needed and -

He was chucked out and Rebecca was a sobbing mess of apologises.

So he's decided that he doesn't need to try and love anyone anymore.

He's _doomed_ or something like that.

And he'll drink the day away, keep his head down as merry couples snog until he thinks they won't be able to breathe anymore.

He'll do just that and it'll be -

He hears the sound of someone singing, or laughing, or _crying_ and he's not sure what the hell it is but it needs to stop.

The bar isn't the biggest and the noise travels until he's hearing some lad tell the idiot to stop singing so loudly.

Robert raises his head and sees a dopey looking bloke with a hand over someone, he's got curls and a beard and a checkered shirt on and the guy he is holding up is -

"No! Alright, I - he dumped _me_. Not the other way 'round Ads."

Drunk.

Oh, and _gay_ , but that's besides the point.

"Yeah, I know mate." _Ads_ says, Adam? Most likely.

"Why does everyone leave me?" He's huffing out a breath, slipping down on the chair and waving a hand out.

Robert hears him babbling on for a few more minutes before the sober one is telling them that he has to get back home.

But the drunk one is _adamant_ that he isn't moving.

Robert feels a scene brewing but the sober one relents, bangs on about his mate calling him when he's home.

The whole thing is almost embarrassing, and then the stupid idiot is joining him at the bar.

"Hi." The man says, and Robert actually looks at him.

His forehead is sweaty, eyes wide and _blue_ and has thick black soft curls across his hair.

Robert frowns. "Hi." He says, nods his head a little and the man is still staring at him.

"Sorry for the noise."

Robert doesn't expect that.

"It's alright." He says.

"Got dumped by _Ed_." And Robert is probably supposed to know who that is according to this drunk man. "On Valentine's Day." He says, shakes his head and then bites his lip.

"Sorry about that." Robert says, sips at his beer and sort of wants the ground to swallow him up.

Only the man leans closer towards him. "His loss right?" Robert just stares at him. "That's what most people say."

Robert shrugs. "Not most people, me."

And then Soft Curls smiles. "I bet." He whispers and something tugs in Robert's stomach.

 

~*~

 

So the short story is, the guy followed him outside and Robert watched him smoke before he was pinned up against the wall and they were kissing.

And he tasted of beer and smoke and salt and Robert felt the tug in his stomach pull tighter.

And then they were stumbling back to Robert's and the bloke was stripping, giggling like mad and Robert felt his heart _flip_.

And then he was promptly throwing up on Robert's shoes and Valentine's Day was still absolutely _shit_.

 

~*~

 

Robert groans a little as he rolls over, sore head and dodgy tummy and he feels like the world's ending a little before he pads towards the kitchen and wipes the sleep out of his eyes.

And then he's walking backwards and realising that the drunk stranger from last night is sleeping on his sofa.

Robert rolls his eyes, decides that he can stay whilst he makes some toast.

It takes all of five minutes, and then Robert is clearing his throat over the man and then when that doesn't work he kicks his leg and he's alive again.

"Oh _shit_." The man says, holds his head and starts blinking quickly as he hides away from the light streaming into the flat.

"Morning to you too." Robert says dryly, passes the man the plate of toast and he accepts it gingerly.

"Cheers." The guy says, clears his throat and something swirls in Robert's chest.

"Uh, look. Last night was -"

The guy blushes _red_. "We didn't -" he looks down at himself, fully clothed and then at Robert.

He's suddenly aware that he's only wearing boxer shorts.

" _No_." Robert says, "Well, we kissed but - you were sick on my shoes and then you passed out."

He looks horrified. "Romantic." He says sarcastically and Robert gets him.

"Yeah. Well. Valentine's Day is always _shit_ ain't it?" Robert rubs a hand through his hair and the man nods.

"Yep." He says, digs in to his pocket and swears as he looks down at his phone.

"Uh, your mate's probably worried about ya. He wanted you to text him." Robert tries to help, doesn't even know _why_.

He thinks the bloke is ignoring him, only he isn't. He suddenly raises his head, and then his body and bites down hard on the slice of toast.

"I best be going then. Explain how I'm not actually _dead_." He says, and Robert nods as he gathers his things and smiles at him awkwardly. "Thanks for - you know, letting me crash."

Robert scoffs. "Could hardly let an unconscious bloke go could I?"

The man raises an eyebrow and smiles back. "Sorry about the - the - you know - the shoes." He finds the words and blushes and Robert shrugs.

And then he's opening the door, watching Soft Curls make some awkward goodbye hand gestures before he's gone.

Robert stares at the closed door for a few seconds before he's shaking his head and walking towards the kitchen.

Valentine's Day is a joke, and last night was an absolute joke and -

There's a knock on the door and Robert goes to answer it.

Only Soft Curls is there.

"I - sorry, I just - I didn't catch your name?"

And Robert is taken aback.

Because yeah, okay he's _fit_. But he also seems like a bit of a disaster and Robert's already got that field covered for the both of them.

He doesn't even know what to say, so he just stares at him.

"Don't worry. My - my mistake." Soft Curls is saying and Robert catches his arm as he turns to leave.

"Robert." He says, a small smile on his face and then Soft Curls isn't Soft Curls anymore, he's -

"Aaron."

And Valentine's Day isn't for losers anymore.

 

::

 

**Aaron:**

 

They play this game.

They go out and eat and talk about the things you're supposed to know before you sleep with someone.

Middle names and birthdays and backgrounds.

And then they're falling into bed and they're fucking quite a lot.

On a very regular basis.

Robert feels his head fall down against the sheets and Aaron's collapsed over him.

"Fuck me." Aaron's hardly vocal in bed. Sort of just grunts and pants and sighs and Robert grins as he hears him speaking now it's over.

"Just have." Robert mumbles, eyes flickering towards Aaron and then the younger man kisses his neck and laughs.

They just lay there, naked, next to each other.

Robert turns towards Aaron and gulps.

"Why are ya staring at me?" Aaron asks, a little short.

Robert blinks quickly. "Just glad you know exactly what this is."

Aaron frowns. "Huh?"

And Robert rolls further towards him and shrugs. "Sex. Just sex." He says. "I mean, seems like you could do without the whole _feelings_ thing after your boyfriend -"

Aaron rolls his eyes, "Are you always going to tease me about that?" He asks. "How many times am I -"

"Oh _yeah_ , you were going to dump him first." Robert tries to hold back a laugh, but Aaron doesn't seem to mind the teasing.

Aaron's easy.

And yeah, the scars over his body tell Robert that he's also got a past but -

No, Aaron's so very easy to like.

Aaron rolls his eyes again before he's pinning Robert's arms down and smirking.

"Glad we're on the same page then." He says, kisses Robert hard and everything else melts.

 

~*~

 

"Don't believe in love, not anymore."

Aaron's telling him about Adam falling for some girl and he doesn't mean to be so negative.

"Well shit then." Aaron says, and Robert is starting to notice things now. Three months down the line.

Nothing much has changed, they just more or less organise when they're going to have sex next.

But Aaron is more fascinated with his freckles, kisses him slower, looks at him right in the eyes whilst he's giving him a blow job.

He's _softer_.

And that's -

Robert doesn't know what to think of that.

"Someone break your heart?" They do pillow talk, just not a lot.

Robert shuffles a little in bed. "I just grew up." He shrugs and then Aaron's staring at him.

"Maybe you just haven't met the right person. It'll happen."

"Did you?"

Aaron frowns. "Did I what?"

Robert feels his heart race suddenly. "Meet the right person?"

And Aaron's pale. "Died on me." He says, and everything is so ridiculously heavy.

If Aaron wasn't Aaron, Robert would make an excuse and leave. But Aaron _is_ Aaron, and he also cries sometimes and Robert's always frozen before now but -

This time, he's different.

Because Aaron almost tries to hide his emotions, he's tried before, he's getting better.

"Oi." Robert says, and Aaron turns away from him. "Come 'ere." He says and Aaron's face is in his chest suddenly and Robert holds him.

And keeps holding him.

Because maybe that's why this Ed leaving him felt so bad, because he wasn't in control of someone else leaving him too.

And he keeps holding him.

 

~*~

 

He finds Aaron's sock under his bed two months later.

And his heart does something weird.

He wants to speak to him about it, about how he _feels_ inside and it's probably going to be embarrassing.

Only Aaron doesn't show up.

He texts him, says he's busy.

Just busy and Robert suddenly feels like a dick.

So he goes out instead, sees Aaron outside a club and some prick is chatting him up.

And _fuck_ Robert doesn't like that.

Neither does his heart.

That's probably why he shouts at him next time he sees him.

"Just fuck off Aaron!"

But he doesn't want him to.

"No, why the fuck are you shouting at me? I thought we were -"

"Sure that twink from the club would appreciate you more than me." Robert pushes past Aaron, gulps hard and wills himself to stop being so dramatic.

But his heart doesn't _want_ to stop.

Aaron's eyes flicker. "Yeah. Probably." He says, "Because you only pay attention to me when I'm in your bed." He's almost laughing but Robert can see that he's hurt as well.

"Don't say that." Robert says because that really _hurts_ , "That's not -"

"Mr. I don't fall in love. Mr. This is just sex." Aaron rolls his eyes. "Well, I'm done." He shrugs and Robert watches him walk away.

"Where are you going?" Robert's asking, heart beating.

"To see the twink, what do you think?" Aaron might be joking, God he probably is but -

Robert's face falls, "Fine then." He says sharply, and this, fighting with Aaron, it's horrible.

Aaron frowns. "I'm not _actually_ going to." And Robert's shoulders relax. "Why are you bloody dramatic!"

"Dramatic?" Robert can't breathe. All he can do is shout.

"Yeah, what's the -"

"I'm not being dramatic, I'm being -"

"An idiot."

"No! Why are you so _thick_." Robert shouts, and Aaron rolls his eyes, turns to go. "I've fallen for ya!"

He doesn't go.

He just stands there for a second and his eyes are watering suddenly, face red and mouth hanging open and -

He comes towards Robert and kisses him like it's the last thing he'll ever get to do.

And they back towards the bedroom, laughing and moaning and then _after_ -

"I'm in love with you. You're the right person, _my_ person. Sorry if you didn't want that but it's true." Aaron whispers and then he does something even softer and kisses Robert's bare chest, thinks Robert's asleep but he isn't.

He hears, he _melts_.

 

~*~

 

So, Aaron is with him on Valentine's Day.

And he makes him dinner, candles and absolutely everything.

"You didn't need to do that. We're not mushy in love idiots are we?" Robert doesn't mean to offend, only he really does and they shout and scream at each other before falling in to bed and Aaron makes Robert's toes _curl_.

"Happy Valentine's Day then." Robert heaves, smacks a kiss against Aaron's mouth and pulls back to catch his breath.

Suddenly he realises that he's one of those mushy in love idiots who kiss until they can't breathe.

Aaron arches an eyebrow and smiles. "Happy Valentine's Day." He kisses at Robert's hair and sighs, filled with such content.

It makes Robert shudder. "You know, I love you." Robert whispers, and he hasn't said that.

Not properly.

He's whispered it before bed, said he loves Aaron _too_ , but not like this, not like this.

And he's picked today of all days to do it.

He waits, feels like Aaron's going to tell him he doesn't love him too and all this insecurity comes flooding before -

Aaron's got tears in his soft blue eyes and they sparkle a little.

"I did. Nice to hear it though." Aaron wraps his arms around Robert and _God_ he's loving. "Thought you didn't believe in love anymore?"

Robert bites his lip, pulls a face. "I believe in us."

And he does,

And he's a soppy shit when it comes to Valentine's Day maybe.

 

**\+ The One He Gets to Love Forever:**

 

The thing is, Aaron doesn't seem to leave.

Instead, he's moving in, toothbrush first followed by a draw and then half a wardrobe and it goes from there really.

It's Valentine's Day and Aaron's wearing a suit, because Robert told him to dress fancy.

He's sent him out for a few hours and when he comes back, Robert's got candles around the table just like the year before.

He's cooked.

He's -

Well, he's also down on one knee.

And he never thought he'd be here again. Not after the failure of an engagement to Chrissie but -

"Rob?" Aaron's got a hand over his mouth and Robert's palms are sweating because only a few days ago they were arguing about how meaningless marriage is.

Robert is anti that too now, only -

"Just - uh," Robert gulps and his knees are shaking. "Didn't believe in love, not the proper grown up one anyway. Thought it was for kids." He smiles. "Didn't even want to love _you_. But I gave in didn't I?" His eyes flicker and Aaron comes closer towards him. "And when I say I _love_ you, please know that - it means so much. It means that I only love _you_. I want you."

Because that's another argument for another day.

"You're my family really." Because him and Vic have found each other again, and Andy and Katie - he's getting there with them. But they don't fill the hole Aaron does. "And you accept me, for me." He whispers, "Helped me, with being bisexual."

Aaron smiles gently, eyes sparkling and Robert sees so many nights of silent tears against Aaron's chest at Andy's confusion about who he wants to love.

"And you deserve to be loved. Properly. Truly." Because Aaron's told him every single last detail of every awful thing that he has gone through and Aaron hates the world. "I want to -" oh _shit_ , he's getting emotional and he can't do anything about it. He drops his head and when he raises it, Aaron's kneeling with him.

"Yeah." Aaron whispers, holds Robert's face and smiles.

Robert frowns. "Yeah?"

"Well, you haven't really asked me have ya?"

Robert laughs nervously. "Aaron Dingle, would you mind marrying me?"

Aaron bites his lip. "No." Robert's eyes widen. "No, I mean I wouldn't _mind_. It's a yes. Yes. _Yes_." And Aaron's a lot of things,

He's moody and sarcastic and grumpy and he hates the fact that Robert sleeps with socks on because 'it keeps his skin soft.'

But he's also the most beautiful man Robert's ever known.

And he's in a suit, on the floor of the apartment he was sick on Robert's shoes in, and he's got his arms wrapped so tightly around Robert that the older man can hardly breathe.

"God, I love you." Aaron tells him, kisses him passionately on the lips and then smiles.

And Robert's thirty in two months.

Engaged.

Has a whole _life_ with Aaron ahead of him and he's going to be his last love ever and -

It's Valentine Day and Robert finally knows what it's all about, finally knows what love really feels like.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought, oh and happy valentines day you lovely lot (HOPE THIS HELPED CALM U DOWN AFTER THE EPISODE)


End file.
